The Saratoga Sun -

Spy der man ... and other stuff


November 14, 2018

Photo courtesy Peter Parker

Spider Man in front of the Saratoga Sun office.

This is the most stream-of-consciousness thing I have written in a while.

I have had a lot of things swirling around my mind lately (elections, veteran day, Halloween, etc.) including writing a story about dressing as Spider Man. It was so darn ... well you'll see.

A social media


Is social media killing social skills?

I saw a girl recently walk by intensely scrutinizing her cell phone while heading somewhere at a furious pace.

I said "Hi" the second time she walked by and she raised her head only long enough to say "Hi" back.

Makes you wonder about people's people skills anymore.

I am still puzzled how the two feats of reading a phone and semi-sprinting were accomplished simultaneously.

But then, I have a hard enough time walking and chewing gum at the same time ... and at least I can see where I'm going.

A thought that leads me to ...

Blind spider

I have already mentioned I wore a Spider Man costume to hand out candy to children partaking in our local downtown Halloween Walk.

The costume was constructed of Lycrex or Spanda or some kind of printed pantyhose material.

If you know me you are probably shuddering at the thought ... but I looked good.

At least I think so ... I wouldn't have known.

Because Spider Man doesn't wear glasses, I found some out-of-date contacts-both the same (which is NOT my prescription)-and put them on.

I could see passably well ... until I put on the Spider Man mask.

The lenses on the mask were plastic with white spots printed on them to give the illusion of Spidey's trademark white eyes.

I could kind of see through the mask in full daylight. If there was any darkness or shadow-forget it. For example, I could not see anyone walking on the other side of the street which was in light shadow.

Because I had gotten ready slightly before the kids were scheduled to inundate us, I had a little fun poking my head into several businesses and waving. Some figured out who I was. Some didn't figure it out until much later.

I did make the mistake of walking across the street to the Hotel Wolf. On the way there I was in shadow and almost bumped into several people. My "Spidey-sense" also failed to warn me of the railing on the ramp leading to the hotel's entrance and ... you got it ... I walked right into the slightly above groin-level post.

I am glad the corner post was not lower, but woke up several days later wondering how in the heck I had bruised that part of my body.

Anyway, the kids arrived and I took photos.

I found that I could actually see better through all the difficulties when I put the camera up to my masked face.

Some kids were scared of the white-eyed guy handing out candy and kept staring as they were led down the street.

Some thought I was the real deal and enjoyed that I traded high-fives with them (I kinda liked that too).

Don't worry about disillusioning kids about the existence of Spider Man. The kids who believed probably only read at maybe a fourth grade level and I write at a solid fifth grade level.

But this IS


The thing I will remember from now on though is that wearing that sheer an outfit at the end of October in Wyoming is really not a good idea.

The Halloween Walk started out well enough-mildly cool with good sunshine- but as the event wore on it became colder.

The sun began to hide its face behind clouds and the temperature dropped.

I was wearing undergarments beneath my spider facade but the Wyoming wind did what it does and built up to a chilling breeze.

Eventually I walked back into the office and put on a coat.

That helped, but I wanted to impress the kids so I took it back off and dipped back into the office to warm up when there were not children in the immediate area.

That sorta worked, but I was still freezing.

Then the lenses on the mask fogged up.

I could not see a blessed thing except for a white blur-so I had to take the mask off to resume photographing.

The new vow

After the walk was officially over, I hurried back into the office and changed back into some real, warm clothes and muttered to myself that, "never again will I wear something that thin on Halloween in Wyoming."

But ya'll know me-It's still not out of the question.

Worth the trip?

Yeah, I started one way and took a few left turns.

I did warn you though.

It made sense to me.

And if you take enough left turns it makes a right.


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