The Saratoga Sun -

The Great Wall of America

Retro Blog

 


When Donald J. Trump becomes president he has promised to build a wall along the Mexican/American border. As recently as his win in the South Carolina primary, Trump reaffirmed that “… we’ll do the wall, don’t worry. We’re going to do the wall.”

I, for one, applaud this for several reasons.

I would like to see America build more monuments.

The Gateway Arch in St. Louis is a wonder.

Mount Rushmore is amazing.

Crazy Horse is a labor of love, the Empire State Building is an architectural marvel, the Golden Gate Bridge is incredible and the Statue of Liberty is one of our favorite national symbols (even though we didn’t actually build that one).

A “Great Wall of America” would be something I would want to see.

The Great Wall of China attracts over 10 million visitors annually.1 I could see the Great Wall of America “trumping” that mark while adding tourist dollars to nearby economies.

I have some questions though.

If the Mexicans are going to pay for it (as Trump promised) will the Mexican government build it on their side of the border?

I don’t want to travel to a different country or go through customs to see the Great Wall of America.

If the wall is built with shops and tourist attractions are the Mexicans going to put all the good stuff on their side and leave us with a bare adobe wall?

Basically that would be Mexico mooning the United States.

No.

We need to take charge of the Great Wall of America.

First off, our wall should be the best – in much the same way everything the Donald does is “the best.”

The Great Wall of China is 13,170 miles long2 including all of its branches. The Mexican/American border is only 1,989 miles long–so we lose that battle.

The Great Wall of China is from 15 to 30 feet wide and is up to 25 feet tall in places.3

Using those numbers, and assuming a uniformity that no longer exists in the Great Wall of China (I used a uniform 25’ width and height), the total volume of their wall is just over 43 billion cubic feet.

For the Great Wall of America to surpass this mark we could build our great wall to be 150’ wide by 35’tall. At that measure we win the total volume contest.

But what to do with a wall that wide?

A four lane highway stretching from the Gulf Coast to the Pacific Ocean might be nice. At 12’ a lane with 10’ shoulders you still have plenty of room for greenbelts and gas/recharging stations, restaurants, rest stops and the like.

The highway could even supply power to the states it runs through if we make it a solar cell road like they are now doing on parts of Route 66 through Missouri.4

Heck, the whole thing should be high-tech but with a decidedly classic and timeless design. Hey, we could even change the themes slightly from state to state.

Since large parts of our interstate highway system are dubbed the Eisenhower highway, I think our newest president deserves that we call this roadway the Trump Highway

What to do with the area underneath the wall though?

For stretches where there is no civilization nearby, we could use some of the space for new army bases. That room would also be great for hangars for air bases. Military bases make sense because you have an attached highway for rapid mobilization and it would be a deterrent to all but the boldest drug smugglers.

It could be used for nicer office buildings, houses, condos, apartments and the like through towns the wall passes through. Smaller towns could even add really nice commercial airports relatively cheaply.

If we can get Mexico to pay for even part of it, perhaps we can make their side look good too.

The other positive for the United States is that if we build it, the Donald can follow through on his more jobs promise as this would most likely be the biggest public works project in history.

I am pretty sure this project will be the only time typical Republicans won’t complain about a “socialist works project” or “big government” program.

Overall, I am pretty excited about the whole project.

The only question I have left is: How far apart do we put the big golden TRUMP signs?

 

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