#GreenForGarry

From the Hip

On Nov. 3, it was a normal Tuesday. We were working on the finishing touches of the Saratoga Sun.

It was a little different for me as my youngest son Garry was having surgery that day. A simple hernia repair, nothing to worry about. He had put it off for two years, since he couldn’t afford to pay for the deductible. After I had my knee surgery done and had maxed out our out-of-pocket expense, I encouraged Garry to go to the doctor and get the hernia taken care of.

His wife texted when he went into surgery, and I waited for the phone call when he came out of surgery.

It came and when I saw it was him on my caller ID I said, “I see you survived the surgery.” Silence was on the other end.

“Mom, are you alone,” Garry asked. “No,” I said.

“Can you be?”

I stepped outside to listen to what Garry had to tell me.

By this time I could hear him crying. “Mom, they say it’s cancer.”

I honestly can’t remember what he said after that. I asked him if he wanted me there – he lives in Nashville.

“Can you come?” Anyone who is a parent knows the answer to that question.

I called my husband and he made arrangements to leave work, while I booked tickets to Nashville.

We quickly packed our bags and drove to Denver.

We flew out first thing Wednesday morning – it seemed to take us forever to get to Nashville.

My hope was we would hear from the doctor by Friday saying it was all a mistake and that Garry didn’t have cancer after all. We would be home by Saturday and our world would be back to normal again.

That didn’t happen.

The doctor never called on Friday – and by the time Garry called, the office was closed. We waited all weekend for Monday to come. Garry and I read about cancer and lymphoma on the internet, while Jerry (my husband) looked around Garry’s apartment for projects to keep him busy.

Garry’s biggest worry is that he had put the surgery off for two years. We hoped for the best but planned for the worst.

My grandmother and sister have both had cancer – but their cancer didn’t scare me like this one.

This was my little boy.

He was healthy and took care of himself. His would always tell me not to do this or that because it caused cancer.

That weekend, I was supposed to go to Casper to follow the Encampment Tigers on their quest for the 1A State Championship. I knew it was their time. These girls had worked so hard and I wanted to be there, but I knew I was where I was supposed to be.

I would check the schedule and watch for the posts on Facebook to find out how the games went and would share it with Garry and his wife Mirthe.

Garry graduated in 2008, so he doesn’t really know any of the girls, even the ones who are our neighbors.

Then I received a text from my friend Mary Martin. “Look what the girls are doing – they are wearing green ribbons in the hair for Garry.” We soon discovered green is the color for Lymphoma. The hashtag #GreenForGary started showing up – and we adopted it, but using the two “r”s as Garry is named after my dad, whose name has two “r”s.

The girls won their game – and our hearts as they continued to support Garry with green and black headbands during their championship game.

We celebrated the Lady Tigers winning the championship. We also marveled in their unselfishness to care for a young man they barely knew – except through his mother.

It was also during this time we started posting about Garry and what was going on. We were amazed at the support. Every person who has walked into the Saratoga Sun office after having a life-changing event has told us about the overwhelming support they have received, and we have witnessed it through our job as reporters, but I had never experienced it. It is extremely humbling to say the least. We have received so many comments, hugs and have been added to so many prayer lists across the nation and the world (Garry has friends everywhere) that we sometimes can’t keep up with it all.

During one of our talks, Garry said that this was all so surreal. “I thought, this can’t be happening mom, I have already been through my tragedy,” he told me. “I shouldn’t have to go through it again. Ten years ago, he was in a chainsaw accident and miraculously recovered from that.

Monday, we all waited in the doctor’s office – all four us went in and the doctor finally came in. Our wishes had not come true – it was cancer, Hodgkins Lymphoma.

The doctor had already set up an appointment later that morning with an oncologist.

Our family has a tradition – it’s called the group hug. When something good or bad happens, we have a group hug, where we all hug each other in a circle. I can’t even remember when or why we started it. But it has always been special to us and gives us strength. We asked the doctor for a moment together as we hugged, cried and came up with the strength to fight this.

I always thought as soon as you found out you had cancer, you could start treatment. Boy, was I wrong. I stayed with Garry for an extra week as he went through a series of tests to find out what stage he was in. Another week of waiting and our hopes were dashed again. Stage IIIS—and six months of chemotherapy.

Garry has a lot going for him. He is young. In fact, everywhere we have gone, he has been the youngest of the patients. He is strong and he is named after two very hard-headed people, my father and my grandfather.

My family used to always make fun when Garry and I had a battle of wills for naming him Garry Raymond, because they were the most stubborn and hard-headed people I knew. That name has served him well in music and life, as he always gets up and keeps going.

His friend David Capozzoli called him after we found out it was cancer and said, “Do you know why this happens to you and not me?” Garry said, “No, I don’t”.

David told him, “Because I would just die and you brush it off and go on.”

Monday, Garry started chemo. As I finished this column, he called me and said he finished his first round – five and one-half hours. Again, he was the youngest one there.

In our research, we found a startling fact, young people, especially men between the age of 15 and 30 have a high risk of getting Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.

Garry is 25, he will be 26 this month. Garry has been told he has an 80 percent chance of survival and he manages to keep a positive attitude.

Lumps can many times be harmless, but in this case was not. If you have a swollen lymph node and do not have an infection – take time to see a doctor.

 

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