The Saratoga Sun -

Zac Attack: Taking the plunge

 


I’m getting married at the end of this month, and I think my life will remain intact.

People say it is a huge leap and a drastic change. I should know. For the past year, people I know, and even some who I don’t know, have not been shy to share their feelings about my impending marriage. Some are supportive, others are not so supportive.

However, most comments are harmless jokes about who has possession of my testicles – me or her. Those comments I can live with. It’s when people say “I would be glad to attend your first wedding,” implying that there will be a second, that gets on my nerves. And yes, A few of my friends did say that to my face when I invited them.

I guess I should thank everyone who showed some skepticism about my wedding. Their comments keep me on my toes. I honestly don’t know what awaits me after marriage. How could I? I’ve never been married before. All I have to go on is what people tell me about marriage, and there is a lot of negativity on the subject. First, people tell me if I ever planned on having fun in my life, I might as well abandon that hope after marriage. Then, I start to research marriage and discover more than 50 percent of marriages in the United States end in divorce.

I started talking to some of my friends on the subject, and a lot of them have a negative view of marriage.

Thinking of the compilation of comments I have received over the past year, and all the negativity that comes attached with marriage, I begin to imagine what the married life would be like.

I begin to imagine myself in a small, beat-up house with my nagging wife and a crying baby in one ear while I’m sitting at a desk in a white tank top thinking how we are going to pay these damn bills. It’s not a pretty sight.

Thankfully, everything I have heard about marriage has not been negative. A lot of the positive information I got about marriage came from the Catholic Church. The church actually has a lot of resources that can help a couple build a sustaining marriage.

All the material I learned through the Catholic Church is a story in itself. But when I think of what I learned about marriage in Catholic classes and what I know about myself and my fiancee, my vision of marriage becomes very different.

No, it’s not a perfect life, but it’s more believable than making marriage out to be a hopeless and miserable experience.

I think marriage, for me, is going to be a journey. My entire life isn’t going to change at the alter when I say “I do”. It isn’t going to crumble in marriage’s wake. My partner and I will build our life together over a period of time to ensure it lasts. We will tackle problems together and yes, we are going to fight, a lot.

If you think about it though, what happens in a marriage is all secondary to the reason you decide to marry someone – because you love them.

 

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