Clearing the cobwebs III

Hi! You have reached the mind of Keith. He's not here right now (if ever), but if you could leave a message after the beep, he will put it first on his list to slowly percolate into his consciousness.

BEEEEP!

Yes, I am going to be out of the office for a few days. As a matter of fact, as this hits the various newsstands and post office boxes I will be on my way to the San Juan river in Utah where I fully expect to let my mind wander aimlessly while I row said river for a few days.

This being the case, I figured it was time for the third installment of "Clearing the Cobwebs" which is me unloading the little items that don't quite actually make for a full column.

Then maybe I can clean off my desk calendar which tends to get littered with these little quips and quote-like things.

Ready? ... Break!

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There should be a ski area with a mountain named "Daddle."

It would be easy to market ... "Come Ski Daddle!"

... I just realized this might only be amusing if you have ever heard the term "skedaddle." I may be dating myself with that particular phrase.

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What does anyone expect to catch with bated breath?

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If I can't tell the future, does that make me a non-prophet?

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When all the animals in a field go to sleep is it pasture bedtime?

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Sorry, I tend to overthink some of my writing and get all involved in a twisty paragraph-long set of words that not even an English professor could diagram without getting help with NASA scientists getting out slide rules and algorithms and all this tends to make me a little overactive and nervous.

But that's just me being sentence mental.

I about half expect a pitchfork-and-torch-bearing-mob upon my return for that one.

***

I have a friend whose favorite phrase is: "It's only a movie!"

That works for life in general.

Only problem is, I want my life to be a Marvel movie ... with me in the lead.

Most of my life turns out to be "The Toxic Avenger" and I am usually a stand-in who gets killed in the opening act.

... but at least I am in the movie.

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If you are ineffable, does that mean you don't give an "F?"

This is a situation where deliberately NOT using the "F" word makes more sense.

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Does someone who is prepared for any basis for an argument have all their basis covered?

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I didn't know texting was a winter Olympic sport.

What prompted this was looking at a TV while I was in a bar covering a local event.

The boob tube was showing figure skating and between rounds, for about 30 seconds, they showed a guy sitting on a couch texting.

I am sure there was scintillating narrative attached, but the sound was down and I didn't hear it.

Winter probably would be best suited to a texting event though.

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If zombies were a real thing, Wyoming would probably have some kind of rodeo with them.

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I was talking about the redeemer the other day then used savior, Christ, and son of God.

I know I was getting verbose and I hope he will forgive me my synonyms.

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Eavesreading: When you glance over at someone else's texts.

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From my Diary:

Day 321: I have gained their trust.

The takeover can begin.

Perhaps they'll let me be the editor of their newspaper ....

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I went to take an ad proof to some people I know named Hank and Nora.

I approached the house and rung their front doorbell.

It took several minutes for them to answer.

Later they told me it took so long because they had never heard the front doorbell before-explaining that everyone they knew came to the back door.

This kind of thing goes on in small towns across the west.

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I try to take my empty glasses, any trash and/or beer bottles to the bar when I leave an establishment.

I was party-trained at a young age.

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A word to the wise: Don't say something in a small town you will regret.

It is impossible to do a U-turn after burning a bridge.

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Whew! That was a load off!

Now maybe my mind will be completely clear when I get back.

Up next: "All wrapped up: The origin of toilet paper."

I expect it to be a crappy article though.

 

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