What about children like Nex?

We’re told to think of the children.

That’s the refrain used in state legislatures across the country when it comes to the slew of anti-LGBTQ laws which are proposed or passed. Laws like the one in Oklahoma, which requires people to use the bathroom of the gender on their birth certificate. Yet, due to laws like this, it is likely that a child in Oklahoma has died.

Nex Benedict was a non-binary 16 year old student at Owasso High School. On February 7, they were allegedly assaulted by three female students in the girls bathroom. A bathroom Nex—who was assigned female at birth—was forced to use due to the new Oklahoma law. The next day, February 8, they were transported to a hospital where they were later declared dead. As is often the case with situations like this, many things are still unclear.

For example, initial reports stated Benedict had been unable to leave the bathroom or the school without help. Released video shows this was not the case and that, while they were escorted by a staff member, they were able to leave the building without help. Additionally, police camera footage of an interview with Benedict and their mother in the hospital later that day showed the student able to answer questions and seemingly alert. An investigation into the exact cause of death of Nex Benedict is still ongoing.

Nex, as far as can be determined, never bothered anyone. They didn’t harass anyone, they didn’t assault anyone, they were simply living their life how they wanted to and how they felt most comfortable. When the refrain of “think of the children” is used while passing laws which specifically target marginalized communities, are we thinking of children like Nex?

The unfortunate truth of the matter is, people like Nex are four times more likely to be victims of violent crimes, according to a study from the Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law. They’re also more likely to experience violence both from someone they know and a stranger than people who are not LGBTQ. Another study by the Williams Institute found that LGBTQ individuals were nine times more likely to be victims of hate crimes, hate crimes being defined as violence on another person motivated by bias and involving hate language or hate symbols.

Hate is a powerful feeling, and a dangerous one. Make no mistake that it was hate which ultimately cost Nex Benedict their life. Chances are, it will likely cost others like Nex their lives as well. Hate makes it easy to view different people as “the other” and to dehumanize them which, in turn, means it’s easier not to feel compassion towards them. Of course, it’s all too easy to hate what one doesn’t understand.

While we’re a little late in the year for a New Year’s Resolution, we are close enough to spring to turn over a new leaf. Can we try something different?

Could we dial down the rhetoric which dehumanizes others, especially marginalized communities? Could we, instead, come out from behind whatever shields we’re hiding behind and look at each other as human beings?

Maybe, just maybe, if we did that we could prevent what happened to Nex Benedict from happening to someone else.