A good argument

I like a good argument … a debate … verbal sparring … even a decent row.

I will sit down and discuss any subject — but prefer to have that conversation with someone who knows what they are talking about and has their facts marshaled in a logical array.

It does not matter what age, race, gender or sexual preference that person might have as long as they are willing to let me put my two cents in as well.

I argue most effectively if I have some actual data to add.

I will not debate a point that I don’t know anything about and will tell you that I can’t argue that point because I don’t know anything about it.

The good thing is that I am willing to go do some research on a topic that I have found I know nothing about. Of course that only really works if I find the subject engaging to start with.

I have started conversations with, “Hey, you know that conversation we were having the other day ... well, I found this out ...”

Even if it turns out I was wrong ... I will offer that information. Everyone deserves to be right once in a while.

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“Without contraries is no progression. Attraction and repulsion, reason and energy, love and hate, are necessary to human existence.”

—William Blake

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An opinion can be offered but I will label one that I give as such because we all know that opinions are like mouths ... everyone has one (not how the saying goes ... but oh, well).

A feeling is the basis of many an argument but I will try to avoid those like the plague. I don’t want to sound like a Vulcan (logic-based aliens from “Star Trek”), but a disagreement based on feelings, which are already rooted in emotion, are a quick way to get you into a physical confrontation.

Recognizing your own feelings on a topic is often very hard. You may feel you are being cool and dispassionate, but your own mental bent often puts your mind at an angle that makes a complete self-viewing impossible.

It is easy to spot someone arguing from a position of feeling rather than facts ... just not as easy to notice in yourself.

I have had passionate arguments that, after later inspection, were flawed by the very passion I put into them.

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“He who establishes his argument by noise and command shows that his reason is weak”

—Michel De Montague

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Experience is a good teacher, but remember your experiences will, most likely, not be universal.

Let’s say you get mugged in Denver. You would be likely to say that Denver is a violent and unwelcoming place. Your experience would have taught you that. What you need to realize is that you would have actually been in a very tiny minority of people to be assaulted. Most people who visit the Mile High City think it is a very nice place (at least to visit).

That is not to say that your experience should be disregarded either. It is a valid concern that should be shared ... just not taken as the norm.

When I realized that I had no fact to base that “people like Denver” statement on other than “common sense” and my own experiences there, I checked. According to the Front Burner Blog (http://frontburner.dmagazine.com/2014/12/15/why-young-people-like-denver-more-than-dallas/) at least young people like Denver ... more than Dallas anyway.

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“Don’t raise your voice, improve your argument.”

—Desmond Tutu

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I have a friend, let’s call him “The Colonel,” who watches Fox News for a while. Then he flips to CNN. Then he changes the channel to Al Jazeera and BBC. He reads newspapers and, at least occasionally, magazines. The Colonel is a bright man who refuses to take a single view on a subject and forms his opinions very carefully. In other words, he keeps his mind open.

I enjoy debating with The Colonel immensely.

Sometimes the arguments get heated, but they always stay within the realm of conversation.

Neither of us resorts to name-calling or insults because we both know those things are just immature and don’t really win an argument (Okay, we call each other names and trade insults. That’s more about the nature of our friendship than trying to win an argument ... and we discard those as such).

We present facts and counter-facts.

We trade opinions and experiences.

I think I have gotten him to think differently on at least a few occasions.

I know he has gotten me to reconsider my position more than once.

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“An association of men who will not quarrel with one another is a thing which has never yet existed, from the greatest confederacy of nations down to a town meeting or a vestry.”

—Thomas Jefferson

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A good argument, based in a fact-based reality, will (or at least should) sway more minds than any fear inducing rant or blindly hopeful oration ever could.

If you take the time to craft a well-thought-out argument you will have a much better chance of getting (and keeping) your opponent’s full attention rather than being brushed aside as useless noise.